Marriage Talk: Why Boundaries Matter

Marriage Talk“You’re smothering me. I need some space.”

Once you hear this line, you know there’s a serious problem in a relationship, especially in the context of marriage. But sometimes, there is a valid ground behind this lashing statement. It’s probably because someone overstepped a boundary within the relationship.

Scoff all you want at the idea of boundaries within a marriage, but even the most lovey-dovey couples need limitations. Even if you look for the finest marriage counselor Denver has to offer, you’ll get the same reply: boundaries do matter, and they matter because of you.

Boundaries as Self-Care

Having boundaries in a relationship isn’t selfish; it is a form of self-care. Healthy marriages exist because the people in that relationship care for each other and themselves. There has to be a balance between the two; otherwise, you’d either be apathetic or selfish.

Now, establishing limits doesn’t mean pushing other people away. Limitations in marriage work in the same manner as you protect your personal space. The premise is the same; although you can’t control what other people do or say, you can decide how to react or what to do in different situations.

Boundaries and Individuality

You are not your spouse; you are your own person. This is another reason for the importance of boundaries. Although you two are together as a couple, it’s still important to assert your individuality. Not because you are in a marriage does it mean you have to be completely the same in every manner imaginable. Boundaries exist to protect your personality; it safeguards what makes you you.

For some people, the idea of boundaries in a marriage seems silly. But no matter how you put it, a relationship still involves two individuals united by common feelings. At the end of the day, you’re still two persons caring for and loving each other. Boundaries don’t make a relationship stale or stiff. In truth, a healthy dose of it is the secret to a thriving and fulfilling marriage.

3 Comments on Marriage Talk: Why Boundaries Matter

  1. Boundaries are indeed essential in any relationship, not just marriage. If you’d simply be together all the time and be similar in all aspects, the two of you would end up like one person instead of two individuals in a relationship.

  2. Thank you! Self-care is still something you need to think about even if you have a partner to depend on. No matter what happens, we’re all born individuals, not couples. Your individuality and your uniqueness matter. And these matter a lot.

  3. The problem with most couples is that they forget about this. The issue of being smothered stems from the lack of boundaries, most of the time. People need to strike a balance between intimacy and individuality after everything.

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